Have you ever had a conversation with a Praying Mantis? No?? Seriously? Well, okay.. because I feel sorry for you, I'll share the little chat I had with a Mantis that was attempting to conceal itself in my front yard.
Mantis: "What was that flash?" "Who's there?"
Mantis: "Who you talking to?" "You talking to *me*?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm talking to you. You got a problem with that?"
Mantis: "No, farm girl...I got no problems with that....just take it easy, okay?"
Me: "It's all good, Mantis... No worries. You know...if you've got your game on today and can strike me a pose or two, I'll let you star on my blog.... Whaddaya say? You wanna do a little superfly photo shoot?"
Mantis: "Are you kidding me? I am the KING of cool.... I'm so cool my insect friends have to wear parkas when they talk to me....I'm so cool the dew turns to frost when I walk over the grass... I'm so cool my momma went into hypothermia when she laid me as an egg.... I'm so cool...."
Me: "Ummm...yeah..I get the picture, Mantis. You think we could move along here?"
Mantis: "Oh...sure... okay....let's start with a little move I like to call "The COBRA" ...hiiiiiisssssss"
Me: "Okay...well, that's kinda cool...but, dude...surely that ain't all you've got...."
Mantis: "What?? That sounds like doubt... come on girl, check it out! Snap this! ....I'm hanging in mid-air, arms folded, giving you five!! Now you *know* that's impressive...."
Me: "I gotta give it to you...that is pretty darn cool! You are one superfly machine! You got anything else you wanna throw out before I leave?"
Mantis: "Okay...last pose... check this! Now who's your daddy??? Dang, I am *so* cool... "
Me: "Wow!! I am impressed, Mantis!! You *are* the man...er, insect... Thanks for the great pictures. I'll see you around. You take care of yourself now... "
Mantis: "No problem. I know you probably need to generate some interest on that blog of yours ...by the way, I took care of that little pest problem you had over on the green beans.... "
Me: "Awww...thanks, Mantis!"
Mantis: "Don't mention it. See you around, farm girl..."
Me: "Bye, Mantis!"