Saturday, August 14, 2010

Conversation with a Mantis...

Have you ever had a conversation with a Praying Mantis?  No??  Seriously?  Well, okay..  because I feel sorry for you, I'll share the little chat I had with a Mantis that was attempting to conceal itself in my front yard.

Mantis:  "What was that flash?"  "Who's there?"

Me:  "Yo, Mantis...over here!"

Mantis:  "Who you talking to?"  "You talking to *me*?"

Me:  "Yeah, I'm talking to you.  You got a problem with that?"

Mantis:  "No, farm girl...I got no problems with that....just take it easy, okay?"

Me:  "It's all good, Mantis...  No worries.  You know...if you've got your game on today and can strike me a pose or two, I'll let you star on my blog....  Whaddaya say?  You wanna do a little superfly photo shoot?"

Mantis:  "Are you kidding me?  I am the KING of cool....  I'm so cool my insect friends have to wear parkas when they talk to me....I'm so cool the dew turns to frost when I walk over the grass... I'm so cool my momma went into hypothermia when she laid me as an egg.... I'm so cool...."

Me:  "Ummm...yeah..I get the picture, Mantis.  You think we could move along here?"

Mantis:  "Oh...sure...  okay....let's start with a little move I like to call "The COBRA" ...hiiiiiisssssss"

Me:  "Okay...well, that's kinda cool...but, dude...surely that ain't all you've got...."

Mantis:  "What??  That sounds like doubt...  come on girl, check it out!  Snap this!  ....I'm hanging in mid-air, arms folded, giving you five!!  Now you *know* that's impressive...."

Me:  "I gotta give it to you...that is pretty darn cool!  You are one superfly machine!  You got anything else you wanna throw out before I leave?"

Mantis:  "Okay...last pose... check this!  Now who's your daddy???  Dang, I am *so* cool... "

Me:  "Wow!!  I am impressed, Mantis!!  You *are* the, insect...  Thanks for the great pictures.  I'll see you around.  You take care of yourself now...  "

Mantis:  "No problem.   I know you probably need to generate some interest on that blog of yours the way, I took care of that little pest problem you had over on the green beans....  "

Me:  "Awww...thanks, Mantis!"

Mantis:  "Don't mention it.  See you around, farm girl..."

Me:  "Bye, Mantis!"


  1. You ain't right, but you crack me up. Love ya!

  2. I love your blog!! ;) You are so hilarious. You really need to write your own book. Im not kidding!!! You are just so talented. Keep it up Michelle!!! Love ya bunches!! ;)
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