Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Nightmares on Sesame Street, Raleigh Tour, and More Exorcist Behavior in the Vehicle

I can stay up until 4:30 am, no problem.  Matter of fact, I used to work third shift, 7 pm to 7 am...4:30 never bothered me.  But, waking up at 4:30 am??  That's a horse of a different color....and that's just what I had to do yesterday morning.  Our homeschool group had a trip planned to visit our state capitol, Raleigh...we were to tour the capitol building, the legislative building, the NC Museum of History, and the NC Museum of Science....exciting times.
I was initially a little anxious regarding the trip...a three hour drive.  You KNOW how our last drive to a homeschool field trip turned out:  Yeah... not cool.  But, I thought, surely that was a one time thing and could never happen again.  Just in case, though, I took THREE plastic trash it would be contained and not turn into asteroids.
To give you a little background info, in my blogging absence, I have started baking and decorating cakes to sell...  (I'll post some pics later).... because with homeschooling four kids, going back to school full time, and trying to keep up with the house, laundry, and meals just wasn't enough.  0_o So, anyway...I have this order for three dozen birthday cupcakes with Elmo related fondant stuff on top....and I've had that on my mind...along with the Rubber Ducky cake.  Anyway, so, Monday night, I got the kids to bed, did my homework, and finally climbed into bed about 11:30.  Of course, since I normally go to bed between 1-3 am, I was tossing and turning and thinking to myself, you better hurry... only 5 hours of sleep if you go now.... and then, you better hurry...only 4 1/2 hours of sleep if you go now...and better hurry...well, you get the picture.  Normally, when I lie in bed at night, I think of the cakes that have been ordered and how I can decorate them...soooo, I was thinking of Elmo and trying to hurry and go to sleep.
And that's when it happened... I started dreaming the most psycho dream of all time.  Nightmare on Sesame Street.  To begin with, I was in this big dimly lit house...and there were people lying all over the floors, which I took to be vampires.  And I was a little afraid, but understood that as long as I didn't turn on the light and wake them, I had nothing to fear. (Yes, I know that they usually sleep during daylight, but I obviously have no control over my dreams.) At any rate, I was looking down the hallway and saw a shadow pass the already darkened doorway.  IT WAS A FREAKING MAN SIZED FURRY RED LEG....AND I KNEW IT WAS ELMO....AND I WAS SCARED! In my defense, it was very creepy.  VERY.  As in, my heart started thumping and I knew that in reality, those vampires weren't the monsters, ELMO was.  And I started trying to get away.  And then there was Big Bird.  Granted, I never saw their was those legs and the ominous foreboding  surrounding them.  I tried to run down the hall and get out of the house...and looked outside in a panic for an escape...but, I knew I would get spotlighted in the street light.  My heart was freaking pounding...  I kept seeing shadows of legs and Big Bird was reading this list...and I KNEW it would end with my demise...  and then I woke up...and my heartbeat was erratic and I might have prayed..because I know evil when I see it. Well, unless it's dressed nice and then sometimes I miss it...but, MOST times. But, seriously ..THINK about it... that laugh that Elmo has is borderline psycho...  hahahaha ...hahahaha....hahahaHA...  he's like a clown on speed. And Big Bird???? Do you know the choice method of suffocating someone??  yeah, that's right....a FEATHER pillow...what do you think Big Bird IS???  He's a freaking giant feather pillow, people.  Forget vampires...and Elm Street... what we should be fearing is SESAME STREET.
Ok, having said, that ....I didn't sleep AT ALL. So, we are up and at 'em at 4:30 am and on our way to Raleigh.  I remember thinking, cool!  Maybe I'll see my first sunrise. haha Only around 7, I was like, DANG...what time *does* the sun come up, anyway?  But, it was raining and foggy, so....   About two hours into the drive, guess what I hear??  Yep.  "Mom, I feel sick."  Not.again.  And my child that sits beside the puker immediately whimpered and hid under his hoodie.  The child in front of puker cowers into the crevice of the seat and makes her/himself as small as possible. I grimace, brace myself, and shove my coffee as far down as possible. And then it begins.  Poor, poor hurler.  In a matter of an hour and a half, hurler went through three trash bags.  And of course, the other three were shouting, Mom!! Do something!  Pull off!! DO something.  I used to be a hurler.  Ok, I still am.  Like, EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we went somewhere, I would have to puke.  It's the car sick thing.  There's no getting around it...except Dramamine. So, once again, I have to detach from the caravan and head out on my own.  We notify the others, find an exit, and get some fresh air, a cold drink, and some DRAMAMINE. only it was too late to take it, because we were almost was for the trip home. So, I have my paper with directions to the Capital and as I'm proceeding, another mom calls me and says, where are you now?  And I tell her and she's trying to give me helpful pointers so I won't make the same mistakes they did.  I'm going down a street running North/South and my directions say to turn on E Lane Street.  And I see it...and I really, really want to turn down it...but, she's saying, NO!  Wait and turn down N Edenton Street.  And I usually suck at directions, but I'm even thinking, how the HECK am I going to turn down a North street when all the streets perpendicular to me are running East/West???  But, I say, whatever...maybe I'll turn a curve and suddenly be going East/West.  haha.  THEN, I find myself in a run down section of town and I'm thinking GREAT...I gotta get outta here.  So, I turn a bail bonds place parking lot.  And as I am driving up the street, this questionable looking guy runs out into the street waving both arms above his head for me to stop.  And I was like, OH HADES, NO!  There ain't NO WAY I'm stopping for you, dude.  And then his friend runs out beside him...and he's waving his arms... and I had this onslaught of thoughts... what if someone is dying and they need help??? what if they are PRETENDING someone is dying so they can kidnap us and take my money??  what if I stop and they pull a gun??  what if I stop and they take my car??  what if.......  and that's when I notice the signs that say DO NOT ENTER.  oh.the.freaking.horror.  It was a one way street. They were trying to HELP me.  *CRINGE, BLUSH, SHRIVEL*  I turn around, drive back by them, hang my head in shame, roll down the window, smile sheepishly and apologetically and say, Ummm...thank you so much. To which the guy says with much hand gesture, "I tried to tell you, that's the WRONG way, baby!!" ...and just shakes his head.  Lesson for the day:  be safe but don't freaking judge.  Angels come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and modes of dress.  Just like the devil can be all shiny and pretty and misleading...angels can be all disheveled and unseemly. It was a good lesson for the kids...and myself.   At any rate, following that, we found our way to the parking lot, no problem.
I'll tell you about the tours we took later...they were pretty cool!